Thanks for everything you have done to help the city of Rock Island. You are truly a great man who has inspired people like myself to get involved and make a difference. It sure is sad to see you not run for Congress. However, I am extremely excited about the opportunities and work that you will be able to do in regard to ending global warming.
I am confident that after your long and effective stint as mayor of a city that has averaged some of the highest crime rates, highest unemployment, and lowest home values across the country, that you will truly be effective in stopping and reducing greatly the amounts of CO2 in the air.
I am also confident that you would not have been able to get as much done to stop global warming as a sitting member of Congress, as you could being a retired mayor and family attorney. Clearly the real legislative power is not found in the halls of Congress, but in the halls of retirement.
Lastly, I would commend you on the courage that you have shown throughout your career. Your valiant efforts to defend Rock Island from "evil-doing" would-be mayors such as David Kimbell have proven themselves over time. When faced with true adversity, you stood your ground and fought. For this I praise you.
I would encourage you to stay valiant. Keep striving for greatness in being the best family-law attorney in Rock Island County. Keep fighting for rights derived from boards that affect our daily lives in more ways that one. Please, never lose that fighting spirit. It would be a horrible tragedy if you were to lose it.
P.S. This entire letter was satire, if you couldn't tell. If you translate it from satire it roughly translates to, "Are you stupid? This was your race and your chance to make a huge difference on the issues that you (and I) care about."